My mom was "the other woman"

Dear Mom,

I realize now that you have ruined my perception of men. Actually, let me rephrase that, I feel like like your actions have ruined my perception of men. The way I saw you interact with men, was not normal. I have come to that conclusion.
You told them you loved them, you held on too tight, you cried when they left, and you cried when they were there. His name was Brian. He was Caucasian, with dark hair and dark eyes. His hair would never be combed and his frizzy hair would be in this rediculous Jerry curl. I hated him. He had a wife, and two kids and you had no problem with that. The drugs had to have played a huge part in those decisions, because a normal person would not have made such rash decisions.His face was pale and stubbly. His chin was very ugly and his cheekbones were high for a man. He was nothing but skin and bones. He drove a Volkswagen. At first, I like him and his family. His wife's name was Lalani. She was a big woman. Her kids were so cute. She hated Brian for his drugs, and his drinking. I hated Brian for his drugs, for treating my mom disgusting and for his pedophile friend. That relationship made me sick. I walked down stairs one day and saw you having sex with him. It was so gross, I didn't know you guys were sexual, you were friends with his wife for god sake. I remember when she came over and put a knife in your face and I thought she was going to kill you, but she didn't. You were really upset when he followed her back to their old apartment and kissed his kids goodnight. You cried and when he came back, you cried in his arms, while he soothed you with his fake excuses and his gross touch. When I went with him to go get coffee for you one morning when we were living in that prostitute motel he took your coffee and dropped little things in it, and I had no idea what was going on. Later that day, you and him sat down and did whippits. I tried to drown out the loud noise that was coming from that stupid ass metal thing. The room was tiny and you had sex in the same room as me with him. When you guys argued, the cops came and dragged you out naked. It was embarrassing. They let me stay with him. How nice of them right? NOT. I can't believe that your most influential relationship only last a few months. I remember it like it was yesterday, and I see myself in you all the time when it comes to relationships. It's hard to comprehend. I don't ever want to be in a relationship, I feel to young and restless. This I believe is directly from you.
Love Winona.